Panic (part 2)

You go about your normal routine, because you feel good. No better, no worse than usual, and you figure it's been a few days, no news is good news, right?

Wrong.

Your phone rings while you're managing a tier-1 support emergency for your job on another line.

It's the doctor.

You make your excuses on the conference bridge and switch lines.

Then you hear the receptionist speak words that fuck you up.

"The doctor found something in the scan that he wants a better picture of as soon as possible. Monday at 8am, you'll have an MRI with contrast dye."

The "no news is good news" bubble just burst.

You're blood pressure has shot up to the point that the guy sitting next to you has asked you if you're alright because your face is all red. Your hands are shaking so badly, an email to your closest friends with the news took a good 10 minutes to type, and it was just a few sentences.

You call your husband, who tells you to not freak out, that may be the scan was flawed the first time -- not very helpful.

You call your mother who knows just what to say to help you calm down.

Then you try to call your doctor. You're not doing ANYTHING until you talk to your doctor.

The receptionist doesn't get to make these kinds of decisions for you. You want to know what they found, why you REALLY need a second MRI, and what the real side effects of the dye are.

You want to know this last because you did some research, and the dye scares the shit out of you.

Hives? Burning sensations that don't fade for hours? Dizziness? Nephrogenic Systemic Fibrosis (NSF causes the skin, connective tissues, and sometimes even internal organs to thicken and harden. This can lead to severe debilitation and, in some cases, death. The disease usually takes between several weeks and several months to appear after injection with an MRI dye. However, NSF may also take as long as a year and a half to become apparent -- Like you want to worry about this for 18 months?!?!?)

If it turns out you really HAVE to have it (as in, it's either that or exploratory surgery) you decide you'll do it. There is a child at home who needs his Mama.

But you'll be damned sure to schedule it so you can be drugged up. But does Valium/Xanax have any interactions with the radioactive dye?

But then I see that gadolinium is used at Children's Hospital; they wouldn't give kids things for diagnostic exams that are potentially deadly, would they?

You have lots of questions for your doctor.

Unfortunately, the admin at your doctor's office can't figure out how to get the phones off of answering service.

The queue for your attention extends 10 people deep outside your office.

Three "urgent phone calls" are demanding your attention.

And it isn't even noon yet.