Jon, You're Our Superman

OK, so it's not terribly original, to say that to the man.

BUT, it may be a LITTLE original to have given him the underwear to prove it.

In one of our email typhoons, somewhere around Februaryish, we gals decided that Jon needed our autographs.  More specifically, he needed them on his underwear.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking, "You crazy woman, Jon is in NO way gonna let you psychos anywhere NEAR his underwear."  Yeah, you're right.

So we bought him some.

Superman boxers to be exact.

We (well I, because I’m a geek) went to WalMart to purchase said pair of Superman boxers.  Funny thing, I had gone with my mom (because WalMart is one of our favorite places to pick up stuff for the kids) and I told her I was on a mission to find Superman boxers for the Bon Jovi concerts in NJ.  I told her how we were all going to sign them and see if we couldn't get them tossed up on stage.

We found the boxers, and Mom pulls out a 2XL pair.  "How 'bout these?" she asks, innocently.

Without thinking, I say, "No, we need mediums, because those are the right size."

After a moment of shocked silence she asks, "And just how do you know that?"

Luckily, she answered herself with a hand flap and a "never mind", then ruined it by adding, "a medium, just like your father."  EW, MOM!  I certainly don't need to know that, and I sure as hell don't want Daddy, Jon Bon Jovi, and underwear in my head together for ANY reason.

Anyway, the boxers made it to Willow's for the Philly gang to sign, and back to my place for the Mohegan crew.  We brought them to Meadowlands, and more specifically to Cheeseburger in Paradise, and whoever joined us there (and felt like it) added their Jane Hancocks.

Our brainstorm was to give them to Kiwi, who was in the pit "wicked close" for night 2, and she'd hum them up onto the stage.  In our discussions, we figured she'd either get arrested, or Jon would find the whole thing hilarious, hold up the boxers, and say something like, "Thanks, baby, but you KNOW I don't wear these things."

Unfortunately Security, as they are wont to be, were absolute bears, so Kiwi was out of luck.  She and Tara gave the boxers to Iris, who was doing the Lure party after the show, and thought she might be able to at least get them to Matt.

Long story short (TOO LATE!), the person heading the fan club trip asked those at the party if this was the best FC trip ever, she answered w/an unequivocal “NO!” and the FC guy and Matt both spent time with her getting her input (which I thought was staggering in and of itself).

As the night was dying down (4:30 a.m.) and they were all getting ready to leave the party, Iris remembered she had the boxers in her purse. She took Matt aside for a minute and told him that if he wanted her help with making the fan club trips better, he had to do her a favor.

His response? "Sure, anything".  (Matty, Matty, Matty, when will you learn NEVER to make a blind promise like that?)

She pulled the boxers out of her purse and basically told him that the boxers were signed by some very longtime die hard fans, that security wouldn't let us throw them on stage, and that they needed to get to Jon.

His first response was "you were going to throw BOXERS on stage? I've heard of thongs and bras but NEVER boxers".  Then it was "I can't believe you're making me carry around a pair of MEN's underwear to give to my brother. The things I won't do for this fan club."

There were more things he jokingly said that Iris couldn't remember but he thought the whole thing was hilarious. She then told him that she'd be back for another FC trip, and she WOULD find out if he gave them to Jon and if she found out he didn't she would tear his arm off and beat him to death with it (lol)

He bent over, kissed her on the cheek, held her hand and very seriously promised he would personally give the boxers to Jon.

His parting sentence was something like "oh man I'm gonna get crapped on for this...but I made you a promise and I will keep that promise".

We'll see.  Of course, not having anyone inside the Jovi camp (dammit) I can't know for sure, but being rose-colored-glasses kind of girl, I have to believe Matt at least did the "oh, by the way, some crazy chicks signed these for you" and flung them at Jon's head.

Hopefully, Jon got them, and he takes them with the spirit in which they were given.  And if we're really, really  supremely lucky, he's tucked them into the neck box of his Takamine's case, and is taking them on tour with him to remind himself of why he does this night after night.

~ Hath

Thanks Iris, for the first-hand account, and Killeen, for the photos. Matt, honey, if you know what's good for you, you gave those boxers to Jon. You don't want Iris ripping your arms off :)