Opinions...
... are like assholes. Everyone has one, and they always stink.
My father loves that saying, and it's very true. That disclaimer being said, fair warning: this is an opinion piece. Feel free to Febreze it away at any time.
By now, everyone has probably heard the latest from the Bon Jovi camp about Richie.
In response to questions about Richie Sambora and Bon Jovi's upcoming performance schedule, the band released the following statement today:This announcement was met with mixed response from the fandom. Everything from "be well Richie, we love you, come back soon" to "those greedy, money-grubbing bastards should cancel their shows and reschedule them".
"Our support for Richie is absolute. He is, and will remain, a member of Bon Jovi. Although he will be absent from upcoming shows for the time being, we very much look forward to his healthy return. In the meantime, we will keep our commitment to our fans and continue our tour."
People have either been unflinchingly supportive of Richie or are lambasting Jon for making the decision to continue with the tour -- there doesn't seem to be a happy middle. (And come on, you know that Jon, the corporation's CEO, had the final say in whether or not the tour would continue, as he should).
I understand people are entitled to their own opinions -- that extends to me. You're allowed to not like what I am about to say, and to click away at any time.
Stop being selfish, people. You know who you are. The ones who are whining:
"But I love RICHIE. I never would have bought a ticket if I knew HE wasn't going to be there."
"That's not fair. They should have waited until after the tour."
"They should postpone the concerts until Richie's back; they just care about the money."
I'm sorry, but you're being idiotic.
Here are a few simple truths, people.
1. Shit happens. Life is messy, unpredictable, and bound to screw up your schedule once in a while, but someone's health and well-being takes precedence over his job. And that's all the tour is -- his job. Granted, a well-paying, highly public, very visible job that we all love to participate in, but a job nonetheless. Definitely not more important than health and well-being, I don't care what you do for a living.
2. The Jovi boys have enough money that their grandkids don't have to worry about anything. They are not in this for the dough. They're in it because they love it. They understand that they made commitments to the fans, many of whom have made international travel plans to follow the band. They understand they have made commitments to the hundreds of people who put the tour together and work for the tour, who are depending on the income from these dates to feed their families.
3. You can't choose when a personal crisis will occur. For it to come to this -- to need seek professional help at an inopportune time, and turn your world inside-out -- things must be bad. Real bad. Scary bad. I don't want that kind of bad happening to people I care about. And I don't know the man personally, but I do care about what happens to him. You should too.
and finally,
4. You can always sell your ticket. I'm sure there's someone out there who will take it.
Granted, the shows won't be the same. There's no denying that. Part of the Jovi experience is seeing the chemistry between Jon and Richie. So yeah, the experience now will be a bit different. But look, the band wouldn't be the same if Richie was permanently gone from the band, right? Or what if if things got so bad, that EVERY show was like the CMT Unplugged from the LH era? Would that be better?
I will leave you with this -- one of the comments on BonJovi.com that really stuck with me this morning. The comment came from someone called NotMe:
Do you want a healthy Richie or a dead Richie?I know what I want. Get well soon, Richie.
~ Hath
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28 comments:
I agree Hath! Am I disappointed that he wont be at the shows I am going to next week! YUP! But hes got to do whatever it takes to make him better. It will be weird having Bobby play Richie's solos, but everyone needs to put their big girl pants on and know that this is obviously a big deal. Take care of yourself Richie, we are behind you!
I couldn't agree more Hath. I know what I want too... a healthy, happy Richie back up there on that stage next to his BFF. :)
Whatever he needs to do, go and do and we'll still love him tomorrow.
Thanks for this Hath, you said it way better than I ever could.
Hath,
100% agreed.And I'll add something : As much as we love Richie (and I do like him way more than Jon) , it's his job and he does need to be responsible and take care of his health and be prepared for showing up every concert and do what he does for a living.It's like any other regular job.
It would be totally unfair to the other members who have been more responsible in staying in shape , preparing for this upcomig tour. He needs help , yes , as you said , those type of problems in life doesn't come with and advance notice , however , it's still in his hands to hurry up this process of getting healthy and get back asap
And if he cares about what he does and the fans , which I believe it's the case , he'll be back even sooner than we expect.
Regards
Fabricio - Brazil
Amen. Period.
To me Richie is far more important than any show or tour.
Any person close to him right now who really truly cares about him would tell him "f..k everything and go back home to Jersey after rehab".
No tour or band is worth him not being well...
I just simply adore him.
One of the things you forgot to mention Hath and I guess having worked at one of the arenas here, rescheduling a concert is very hard. Arenas have their schedules of upcoming events and squeezing in a rescheduled concert is very hard. Be thankful they didn't just cancel the total tour.
You think Richie wouldn't be there if he wasn't 100%? I think by saying look guys I need this, I can't give you what you need until I can give myself what I need.
"Do you want a healthy Richie or a dead Richie?" <-- that sums it up perfectly. I was disgusted by some of the things I read on the Backstage forums last night...as you said, people are either totally in support of him or totally blasting the band for not cancelling. I'm glad they're going forward with the concerts (cancelling probably would have made Richie feel even worse) and hope people can get over themselves & enjoy their shows.
I am a huge diehard fan and I want Richie to feel better and get the help he needs....that said, I plunked down a ton of money to see them in an upcoming show and I knowww Jon will not be the same without Richie no matter how hard he tries... and Bobby just sucks so bad!!! I am so sad about all of this!!!!
Hath - and others who have commented - you are saying what my friends & i have been saying since the news was confirmed. The priority for Richie has to be Richie. His health and wellbeing are more important to me than disappointment that he may not be at the show I am attending.
There is no parallel (as some ppl were saying) with U2 cancelling when Bono's back went, a lead singer is far harder to find a filler-in for....
As for those who were threatening lawsuits or saying Richie had let them down or ripped them off, they sicken me.
Good comments. I just think that Jon as a friend and as a boss should have intervened earlier when it was obvious that Richie's problem had returned. It is sad that it reached the point of rehab and Richie missing multiple shows. Everything will go on but fans do have the right to their feelings whether good/bad or ugly. First reactions are always intense--it will get better. Bottom line: fans love the band and they love Richie.
First of all, I was really shocked when I saw the news pop up in my google alert today. I'm not always up to date these days, and I don't know if there where any rumors about Richie before, but hell I didn't saw this coming.
I thought Richie was feeling great with the successful tour and his clothes line doing well. And maybe a solo record coming soon... I never expected him feeling that bad to make a decision like this.
That being said, I absolutely agree Hath. I really hope he gets the help he needs and as long as this may take. I just want him well and happy again. Not only for us fans, more important for his daughter and family who needs him.
Well said Hath . . . prayers going out to Richie.
Denise
Amen!
Hath, Thanks so much for the voice. I totally agree Richie's health is so important. I am really hoping that Richie can finally be strong and beat all the demons that haunt him! Sometimes you have to fall more then once in your life to learn to understand that what you do effects everyone not just you but all that are around you. I hope he can just not look at this fall as failure! He has so love all around him lets just hope this time around will be his last.
AMEN to that Hath. Richie is the one person I've grown to love more and more through out this band's career. Bon Jovi without a healthy Richie can suffice, only if we get a healthy Richie back.
Bon Jovi without Richie ever again, now that's a different story.
I love Richie with all my heart and want the best for him, and the guys.
(Sambora/Jovi Girl)
Thank you for putting it so clearly, Hath. As someone who has been fighting addiction with my family for 30 years, I think Jon made the correct, DIFFICULT decision. I became a fan because I heard how much Jon helped Richie to help himself in 2007. We may not have all of the information here, and we need to trust Jon. To cancel the tour would be "enabling" Richie. Rehab needs to get Richie to internalize that life - and the band - will go on with or without him; and that he has choices. Choices he needs to make for himself - not the band, not his family, not his fans or friends. If we love Richie, unconditionally, let's pray that he stays for as long as it takes to "reach" him - before he's out in the fishbowl again. Addiction is a destructive illness beyond belief, to all around it. God be with you, Richie. Know that you ARE LOVED.
"I just think that Jon as a friend and as a boss should have intervened earlier when it was obvious that Richie's problem had returned."
*rolleyes* Do you honestly think these people spend every waking moment of their lives together? They had about a 40 day break lately. Jon was clearly with his family and with his foundation. Sorry that's not enough of a handholding-with-Richie for you.
And I'm loudly and vehemently not a "Richie girl" nor can I ever be one. A statement like "A healthy Richie" makes me gag.
This is not sad or heartbreaking.
The tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis ravaging people's lives in both hemispheres are sad and heartbreaking.
What this is is a 50-year old who has been in the dirty r'n'r game since the late 70s, who has not only god-given talent to play the most vaunted instrument in r'n'r (because who cares about the piano player? *roll*) but also has the luck to be able to do it for 30 years, with millions and millions of dollars to spend on his guitars, on caterers, on doctors, on trainers, on rehab the first 2 times, on women etc; and who is lucky enough for his job to be so lucrative that he can do it on this level 30 years on while other talented musicians struggle to find a job.
So he has an addiction problem? Yeah addictions are bad. They are worse for those who cant even afford rehab, whose 20K a year job doesnt even matter when they dont show up for work because they are part timers who will go through a sick day without pay.
On that genius of a board that is Dry County, someone actually made an excuse about how the others have wives and kids to come home to. Richie has a kid too, which is just as precious even without coming in tandem with a wife, but whom everyone seems to forget because this guy can literally do anything and they'll make an excuse for him.
Get a freaking clue.
Beautifully written Hath
Finally someone with a grip on reality. I knew we could rely on you Hath!
I was sickened to see on FB yesterday all the 'poor me, I paid a fortune to see the whole band. Richie should be ther' What a load of bullshit. Not one of us thinks our job is more important than our health so why the hell should we expect any different from Richie?
As far as I'm concerned he can take as long as he needs to recover, and if that means quitting forever, as much as I would hate it, I would understand. Like you said, would you rather have a healthy Richie or a dead one?
Richie needs to realise that life goes on without him and that he needs to concentrate on getting himself better for himself, not for anyone else.
One question I had though...is it a coincidence that his probation was up recently?
"Richie has a kid too, which is just as precious even without coming in tandem with a wife, but whom everyone seems to forget because this guy can literally do anything and they'll make an excuse for him."
Yes Richie has a kid too, but the fact is she and his mom are his only immediate family. Mom's in Jersey and Ava is now old enough to have a social circle of her own. The point being that I'm sure she had plenty of on-the-go activities with friends (as any kid her age might) which left Richie sitting in that big house all by himself. No little kid to play with, no spouse to come home to. Lonely. I don't know Richie personally, but from what I've seen, lonely is the last thing he wants to be and it's not something he does well. He has a big heart which he wears on his sleeve and it absolutely would do him some good to know he had someone who loved him. Yes, he has a problem with alcohol and that needs to be addressed, but he has a problem with 'lonely' too and that can't be discounted as a factor in of this.
And oh by the way, as he sat in his house with no wife or kid during this time off, he had all kinds of quiet time to dwell on the anniversaries of his father dying and his divorce becoming finalized. More reminders of being alone.
You come across as pretty bitter and unforgiving. Would it kill you to give him some credit for recognizing that he needs help and choosing rehab on his own?
First of all, Hathor, your post was right on the money. Health and family first and always.
Addiction is a tough thing to beat and sometimes it takes you a couple of trips to rehab to truly get well. I've been going through this with a friend's son. He can't handle alcohol at all. He's been to rehab but slowly started creeping back into drinking. It took him doing a terrible thing to realize that he needs to go back to rehab & that alcohol can't be any part of his life, ever. I just hope that nothing really bad happened that made Richie realize he needed to go back to rehab. I hope that it was a pre-emptive move on his part to stop it from getting out of control.
I do agree that he likely suffers from being lonely too and I can tell you, that's a hell greater than addiction. I can't imagine having everything in the world but someone to love you or to come home to. He's a good man & he deserves to be loved & be happy.
I wish Richie a successful journey to being well again.
Thank you for your forum Hath.
Peg
Wonderful job Hath! I am having to play catch up because of the storms here in Alabama. We still don't have power and probably won't for quite some time, I'm glad though because I would just be livid and yelling at the computer. Get real people. Richie--the man is way more important than a concert experience. Good for Jon and the rest of the group for standing behind their commitments which is exactly what Richie would want them to do. Good for them for supporting him. He is dealing with enough already and I am sure he feels very badly about the situation this puts his brothers in which adds more to what he has to deal with. Inconsiderate, uncompassionate ticket holders should put on their big people undies and get over it!
Well Said Hath.
Well said Hath!
I'm for one not selling my ticket to Mohegan Sun concert! Yes, I will be disappointed that Richie is not going to play, but I support Jon's decision to continue the tour! I made my plans (both at work and at home) to attend this show months ago, and would be very upset if it was canceled or rescheduled.
P.S. *ducks all sorts of flying objects* on the bright side, the chances of David singing a solo just increased dramatically!
P.P.S. Sending Peace and Lovingkindness to Richie and his loved ones, and wishing him a speedy and easy recovery!
Well said, and two amens from me. As a fan, I find it hard to fathom NOT supporting his journey back to health and happiness. I understand that a concert without Richie is absolutely not the same, but there's a far bigger issue at stake here.
I'd rather miss him at a show, knowing he was in a secure place getting the help he needs to fight his demons, than see a screwed-up, beaten-down ghost of himself because he pushed himself too far and didn't get help so he wouldn't disappoint the fans. Or worse, hear of his death.
He's human, not a touring machine, and my heart goes out to him completely. I pray he can summon the strength to fight back those demons once and for all. And however long it takes, so be it.
I'm not even gonna try to say it better than u cuz u did it! F*ck i dont understand these ppl! I rather have a healthy richie than a dead richie. Sure it would be nice to have him at the concerts im goin to but first things first- his health! So get better Richie! We love uu!xxx
Nobody is taking into consideration there are legal ramifications of not performing. Contracts have been signed to perform at these venues and JBJ is the one held liable...as long as HE is able to perform, failing to do so is breach of contract. He's had no choice but to move forward.
As always, a calm and sure voice in the face of insanity. Thank you Hath!!
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